Happy Spooky Halloween, FTL310

Hey stampers!I know it's been a long time. I'm going on 6 weeks without the use of my right mid-forearm on down to the tips of my fingers completely useless with this drop wrist. I will admit that I'm beyond frustrated. I've had nerve conduction studies done, twice, by two different neurologists, which is the equivalent of having or arms subject to very painful controlled electrocution. Both came back with the same results. My radial and median nerves are severely damaged in the spiral groove (whatever), so this is actually a shoulder injury. I've had a balloon inserted into a vein that was on the verge of collapsing which was caught just in time. If that had actually happened, I would have lost my arm. I caught it and complained since my entire hand went numb and scared me half to death. There's been no change, at all, in 6 weeks. It's gotten worse in some aspects. There's been absolutely no improvement at all. I wish my daddy was here. As usual, absolutely no family support. I called up my "husband" sobbing my brains out and took an hour verbal beating of how he didn't like my doctor when he hasn't been to a doctor's appointment with me in 3 years. My daddy took care of me. I'm defending myself, defending my doctors, trying to figure out when he's had time to go to med school, listened to the most insane and ignorant comments to only hear right before I hung up on him that he "didn't understand." Then what was the hour of verbal abuse for? I think I'm pretty sure I got picked on for cutting my hair. For not understanding, he sure had a lot to say that made me feel even worse. It definitely reminded me how crazy I was to take 24 years of that vile and vulgar mouth and thank God I left. If I didn't, I would have literally been dead right now. I think the nerves in his tongue need to go numb, his vocal cords, anything to shut that mouth up. Then I had a lupus flare that tossed me in the hospital for a few days. Thanks again honey. I haven't had a lupus flare yet that a "family" member wasn't behind. Intentional cruelty and extreme levels of stress that no human being should be subject to usually do the trick. They know what they're doing it and do it anyway. They know I'm completely alone and do it anyway. It's mean and I resent it.

The only real thing that has changed is my attitude. I'm taking out my Bible Treasure part of my blog posts since I'm having a serious faith issue now, like no faith at all. I've just about had enough. God has done a lot for me, but I'm calling Him out. Reveal yourself to me and how about keeping some of your good promises because I'm extremely sick of the ongoing barrage of awful and horrible things in my life. Daddy dying and losing the ONLY person in your life who loved me unconditionally (I have great friends who do but it's not the same), then the way that my oldest son acted a few days later? Why did you spend thousands to fly halfway across the country and do you really think a few days made a difference? More importantly, why didn't you man up and have the integrity to tell me to my face? There's lots of questions that will never be answered because that means looking in the mirror and God forbid if that ever happens. I know the answer to that one and it has to has to do with cowardice. Having the same last name and what it represents is the catalyst for going back to my maiden name. At least there's honor and integrity in my name that I can be proud of and I am proud to be a Blancett. We are not perfect, but we are real. I remember my oldest picking me up from my hotel room the morning I buried my daddy and I was going to be shoved in the back seat holding my daddy's urn. Seriously? I'm pretty sure I taught you some respect. I know what a control freak he is and so did my daddy. I made a comment to the effect of my oldest son getting into the back seat and letting my DIL drive since I'm really in no condition to drive, but I would have, and he didn't know what the big deal was which almost made me drop the urn – by the way, when the funeral home gives you the urn after cremation and says that it's tight, don't believe them – just very useful information – I told him when he's my age, he might understand. In the meantime, my DIL slips very quietly into the back seat and I got in the front. I will give my son the credit of treating his wife as he should, but in an instance like this, there's no disrespect to his wife, it's just the way that it rolls. I was pretty upset that the "husband" who refused to come to daddy's funeral didn't even bother to send flowers and I made a comment about that to which he replied, "The family doesn't send flowers." Uh, yes, they do if they can't make it and you're not family. Silence. Of course. That would admit wrongdoing and the Coutts Cult doesn't do that. The Other is a raging alcoholic. As a matter of fact, all 3 of her kids are and all 3 of the "perfect mom's" kids are too. My 4 kids are not. I did something right for being such an "awful mother.". So the MIL is trying to convince me that The Other has an, get this, hold onto your hats, and make sure there's nothing in your mouth, "allergy" to alcohol. I did lose my coffee on that. Everywhere. All over the table. Just when did I transport to the insane asylum? Did I miss Scotty beaming me up? Did you even know my dear son that at the graduation party I threw you that the entire cult was mad that you didn't mention your "father's" name in your grad speech but mentioned mine and didn't even care about the subject matter as to why you said it? Good God the interference I had to run between with that. It was sick. I hope you didn't hear it on your special day.

So I'm venting and I don't care. This will show up in court and I don't care. I actually have a RIGHT to an opinion! I'm shocked.

So today I made a card. I miss coloring. It was always my favorite thing to do. I colored an image from Power Poppy, the leaves, which turned out wicked awesome, before the injury, and they look insanely cool. Now I have the tops of the flowers to color and I had picked pink before the injury and I'm going to finish them pick. Blender pen does not shove the color back into the lines for me. It just makes an ugly mess. We shall see. It bothers me a lot that the one thing I really enjoyed doing has now been taken away from me. I can type using my index fingers. Ugh.

Today's card is just good ol' fashioned stamping using an older set from Papertrey Ink. This was when they had solid dies, and yes, I hate them still and the ink pads. The key is to stamp your image into your card stock. Then you die-cut it again for your template. It fits right into the image you stamped after you line it up and voila! Perfect cut!

Okay, too long of a blog post since writing this fatigues me hand which fatigues me. I have about a 20% chance of getting any use of my arm back. I'm damaged goods from the hideous abuse and I'm damaged goods for the autoimmune diseases. Who is going to want that? Maybe somebody who loves me. I've always been alone at all MD appts, but out of everybody I meet, I'm the ONLY ONE who's "husband" threw them under the bus. THE ONLY ONE. It makes me want to throw up.

It's been so long that I forgot how to send myself a decent picture, take pictures, except I have my iPhone 6 Plus and they do need to work out some irritating bugs. I think I mentioned above I got robbed last week too and need to see if my cellular iPad had insurance on it to get it replaced, which would be nice. I take it with me when I travel rather than haul around my Mac laptop that's getting awfully hot on the bottom lately. I don't need that at all.

I'm going to figure out dinner tonight since I think my pots and pans are in storage and somebody, every. single. day. grills steak next to me. I've even put Bella out on the hunt and she comes home just as defeated as I feel.

Since I didn't send my card over the right size, it's a little thing, but it's the best I can do right now. Tomorrow you will see some new very cool items in my boutique. Don't forget to take a look!

Thanks for listening to me today and all of your personal emails and phone calls. It's people like you who are my real family.

My sketch, which is the best ever in sketch history comes from my design team work at The Clean and Simple Stamping Blog, Fall to Layout 310. Check out Natasha's and Chera's amazing cards and a few sketches back to 300. That is the perfect design team to be on and you won't find better sketches anywhere else. I've been on this team for 4 years now and am so glad that Natasha let me be a part of this super cool team with a powerhouse of designers.

Enjoy! Thank you so much for stopping y to visit me today. It does take me an entire day to make a card, which is tough. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a quitter. I remember my oldest daughter getting a trophy for that in soccer with Pastors Mark and Scott both making comments that she got that trait from me before presenting her with the award.

I need to fill my hummingbird feeder and go to the garden store and plant my fall flowers. That will be tomorrow. I have a very tired hand right now and am going to respect my body and rest it for the evening.

I also made up a brand new technique. I'm very proud of myself there and I will show it to you once I can figure out iMovie Maker on the Mac.

Hugs my friends!